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John Cowan - Patching mistakes

Monday, September 03, 2012 1:57 PM

It’s sad to see an adult beating themselves up after they have made a genuine mistake. When we make a mistake, the proper response is to apologise and then move quickly to making the situation better.

Imagine a little girl: she goes to the fridge, pulls out the plastic juice jug and drops it on the floor and the mess goes everywhere. Now, a grumpier version of myself would go in there and go ballistic. “Get out of here while I clean up this mess!” But a more useful response would be to go in there and say something like, “Oh dear, you’ve got a mess, but you’re a clever kid. Here’s a sponge, here’s a mop, you have a go at cleaning it up. I’ll come back and see how you’re getting along.” Note: I said, “You’ve got a mess”. It’s amazing how many kids think that the mess is your problem, but you give them ownership of it. And you are also giving her the tools to solve her problem. Now, she probably won’t enjoy being down on the floor sponging up the juice and squeezing it back into the jug. And you know that you could do the job in a tenth of the time yourself, and even when she is finished you’ll have to do the whole job over again properly anyway, but that child will be learning some important things about life. They’ve learnt to take ownership of a problem, and they’re learning that problems are not for running away from, problems are for solving. “Hmmm… I’ve got a problem. It’s my problem, but I can solve it. There are no problems so big that they can’t be solved.” That responsible and resourceful attitude is going to make your child successful in so many ways.