John Cowan - The Mana of the Parent - Life | Well Being - Coast FM

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John Cowan - The Mana of the Parent

Tuesday, September 18, 2012 2:55 PM

One of the biggest privileges I have is working with entertainer Pio Terei. It’s also some of the best fun I have. He’s been part of The Parenting Place for about eleven years, doing programmes like his Parenting Show with Pio all around the country and also a couple of series of No Sweat Parenting on Maori TV.

In one of his Parenting Shows he talks about how building a family is like building a whare, a house. You lay down foundations of love and values, you have walls as boundaries to keep good things in and bad things out of your family, and you have a roof for protection. And then he talks about how in a meeting house on a marae you have a face, a mask, the koruru, right on the top of the roof, at the apex where the gables meet, and in his talk this represents the dignity, the mana of the parents, holding everything in the family together.

Mums and Dads, you are doing the most important job in the country. I don’t care what your daytime job is – if you’re a parent you have dignity and deserve respect from everyone, but especially from your kids. The best way to get respect is to respect yourself. You serve your family, but it is out of love – you are certainly not a slave. “No, I won’t be spoken to like that. Go away, cool off, and ask me again.” Act with dignity. Put yourself on a pedestal. “No one who gave me stretch marks is going to talk to me like that.” Calm authority – where you are firm, fair and friendly – is what your kids really respond to.