Are these the worst dad jokes ever?

Publish Date
Friday, 1 September 2023, 1:10PM
Photo / Getty Images

Photo / Getty Images

What’s the difference between dad jokes and pizza? Dad jokes can’t be topped.

Every good Kiwi knows what day Father’s Day is - and it’s almost upon us.

The best dad jokes have been compiled after a Father’s Day poll earlier this year asked Americans to help identify the top 20 cheesy gags that dads dish out.

So, here are the best - or perhaps the worst - dad jokes of all time.

At number one, the ever-popular, “This graveyard looks crowded—people must be dying to get in”.

 A blue whale is so big that if you put it on a football field, the game would be cancelled.

 How do you light up a rugby stadium? With a rugby match.

What do you call it when a hen looks at a lettuce? A chicken Caesar salad.

 Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.

 My wife asked me to stop singing "Wonderwall" to her. I said maybe...

 What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!

 What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

 What do you call a reindeer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

 What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.

 Dad: It said on the news that an actress has stabbed someone. Think her name was Reese. Mum: Witherspoon? Dad: No, with a knife.

 Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

 What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.

 My dog can do magic tricks. He's a Labracadabrador.

 When does a joke become a "dad joke?" When it becomes apparent.

 A new shop has opened called Moderation. They have everything in there.

 Dad: Can I administer my own anaesthetic? Surgeon: Go ahead - knock yourself out.

 I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

 What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.

 How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.



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