- Publish Date
- Friday, 1 September 2023, 1:10PM
What’s the difference between dad jokes and pizza? Dad jokes can’t be topped.
Every good Kiwi knows what day Father’s Day is - and it’s almost upon us.
The best dad jokes have been compiled after a Father’s Day poll earlier this year asked Americans to help identify the top 20 cheesy gags that dads dish out.
So, here are the best - or perhaps the worst - dad jokes of all time.
• At number one, the ever-popular, “This graveyard looks crowded—people must be dying to get in”.
• A blue whale is so big that if you put it on a football field, the game would be cancelled.
• How do you light up a rugby stadium? With a rugby match.
• What do you call it when a hen looks at a lettuce? A chicken Caesar salad.
• Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.
• My wife asked me to stop singing "Wonderwall" to her. I said maybe...
• What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
• What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
• What do you call a reindeer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
• What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.
• Dad: It said on the news that an actress has stabbed someone. Think her name was Reese. Mum: Witherspoon? Dad: No, with a knife.
• Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
• What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.
• My dog can do magic tricks. He's a Labracadabrador.
• When does a joke become a "dad joke?" When it becomes apparent.
• A new shop has opened called Moderation. They have everything in there.
• Dad: Can I administer my own anaesthetic? Surgeon: Go ahead - knock yourself out.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
• How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
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