• STARSHIP - NOTHINGS GONNA STOP US NOW

    Now Playing

    NOTHINGS GONNA STOP US NOW - STARSHIP

  • BACKSTREET BOYS - QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART

    Previously Played

    QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART - BACKSTREET BOYS

  • LITTLE RIVER BAND - LONESOME LOSER

    Previously Played

    LONESOME LOSER - LITTLE RIVER BAND

  • ERIC CLAPTON - LAYLA (Unplugged)

    Previously Played

    LAYLA (Unplugged) - ERIC CLAPTON

  • CAROLE KING - I FEEL THE EARTH MOVE

    Previously Played

    I FEEL THE EARTH MOVE - CAROLE KING

  • PAUL McCARTNEY - WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME

    Previously Played

    WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME - PAUL McCARTNEY

  • ORCHESTRAL MANOEUVRES IN THE DARK - FOREVER LIVE AND DIE

    Previously Played

    FOREVER LIVE AND DIE - ORCHESTRAL MANOEUVRES IN THE DARK

  • FOUR SEASONS - WHO LOVES YOU

    Previously Played

    WHO LOVES YOU - FOUR SEASONS

  • EURYTHMICS - THERE MUST BE AN ANGEL

    Previously Played

    THERE MUST BE AN ANGEL - EURYTHMICS

  • STEVE MILLER BAND - TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN

    Previously Played

    TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN - STEVE MILLER BAND

  • PAUL YOUNG - WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT

    Previously Played

    WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT - PAUL YOUNG

  • JOSE FELICIANO - FELIZ NAVIDAD

    Previously Played

    FELIZ NAVIDAD - JOSE FELICIANO

  • BILLY OCEAN - WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

    Previously Played

    WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH - BILLY OCEAN

  • ELVIN BISHOP - FOOLED AROUND AND FELL IN LOVE

    Previously Played

    FOOLED AROUND AND FELL IN LOVE - ELVIN BISHOP

  • RONAN KEATING - THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL

    Previously Played

    THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL - RONAN KEATING

  • CARLY SIMON - NOBODY DOES IT BETTER

    Previously Played

    NOBODY DOES IT BETTER - CARLY SIMON

  • ALAN PARSONS PROJECT - EYE IN THE SKY

    Previously Played

    EYE IN THE SKY - ALAN PARSONS PROJECT

  • AMERICA - I NEED YOU

    Previously Played

    I NEED YOU - AMERICA

  • HALL & OATES - JINGLE BELL ROCK

    Previously Played

    JINGLE BELL ROCK - HALL & OATES

  • THE DOOBIE BROTHERS - MINUTE BY MINUTE

    Previously Played

    MINUTE BY MINUTE - THE DOOBIE BROTHERS

  • CROWDED HOUSE - DON'T DREAM IT'S OVER

    Previously Played

    DON'T DREAM IT'S OVER - CROWDED HOUSE

John Cowan - Confident Kids

Author
John Cowan,
Section
Well Being,
Publish Date
Thursday, 27 September 2018, 7:42AM
Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images

If you watch a group of youngsters, you can easily spot the confident ones. They usually have more bruises and Band-Aids – but you can also see their confidence bubbling over in their enthusiasm, friendliness and fun. That early confidence is a strong indicator that the child will embrace learning, develop healthy friendships and get on with a life that will have far more grins than grizzles.

How did they develop this habit of courage? Obviously some children just seem to naturally have more poise right from their earliest months, but the encouraging thing is that any child, even an anxious and shy child, can be gently nudged towards greater confidence.  Here are some tips:

Give them good labels to grow into. “What an athlete!” “That’s beautiful – you’re a real artist.” “You’re a great helper, you knew exactly what to do.”

Gently edge them towards slightly threatening situations bit by bit A shy child could be asked to greet visitors, or a child who doesn’t feel confident to join a game could be asked to be ‘ball boy’. Feed back to them the progress they are making towards overcoming their fear.

Your words shape your child’s life, so beware of the doom words that clip their wings. “He’ll be afraid of that.” “Take that a way, you’ll frighten him.” “No I don’t think he could do that”. Instead, feed their heart with words that express your confidence in them. “Give it a go!” “You’re so good at that sort of thing.”

About John

John has been with The Parenting Place (www.theparentingplace.com) for seventeen years as their senior writer and presenter.  He had various roles working with youth and families prior to that but actually started his working life as a scientist in neurophysiology at Auckland Hospital.  As well as writing and speaking, John is frequently on radio and television.

Listen Live Here Listen Live on iHeartRadio